Just give up. You will not find a better story today than this one. A German nudist at a beach chased down a wild boar that stole his laptop. Who you got? Nudist or wild boar?
Did we mention this is a family heist? Yup. It was a mama boar, with her two young children in on the job, and fleeing from the buck-nekkid nudist.
Slowed down by a cardboard box in it's path, the man got closer and clapped his hands. He also bang to stick against the ground. That made the boar drop the bag. At that point, everyone at the beach applauded the man for his tenacious determination to get his bag back while nude.
After that he told everyone with the phone to go ahead and publish the pictures.
For the record, being nude at that beach is legal. And wild boars are common in the forests surrounding Berlin. Sometimes they can be seen walking the streets looking for food.