The Academy Awards are coming up in a couple of Sundays. Every year, all the nominees are offered up a gift bag full of ridiculousness just for showing up and being a part of the festivities. This year's swag bag features over $100,000 worth of trips and stuff.
1. 3-day stay in the 18 room mansion at Lost Coast Ranch in California
2. 6 day/5 night stay at Koloa Landing in Kauai, Hawaii
3. 3-night stay at Grand Hotel Tremezzo in Lake Como, Italy
4. Jules K Handbag (and yes, that's an anteater pattern)
5. Bangarang Wooden Box with 199 "Positive Action" cards. Whatever that means.
6. A 64-count box of Crayola Crayons. Because they're celebrities and can't afford that on their own, but at least this box has their face on it.
7. A Dual-Layer Pillow from Casper, which is $75 and evidently super pillowy.
8. A week-long stay at the Golden Door Spa in California, valued at $8,850
9. Haze V3 Dual Chamber Vaporizer
10. A 3-night stay at the Grand Hotel Excelsior Vittoria in Sorrento, Italy. Because one Italian vacation isn't enough.
11. The CPR Anytime kit from the American Heart Association
12. Oomi Starter Kit, which is this cool cube that will turn your home into a smart home
13. Drunken Fig Cakes, which sound gross but look less gross. They're like brownies. Google it.
14. Monthly case of Opal's Apples
15. Chapstick. No, seriously, it's just Chapstick.
By the way...the worst part of all this? Only about 10% of the nominees even TAKE the gift bags, much less use all the vacations that are included. HOW IS NO ONE CAPITALIZING ON THIS? I'll gladly be the official toilet cleaner of the Oscars if I can sneak a gift bag that gets left behind.
For the Chapstick, obviously.