A woman in San Antonio - Lisa Torres - is getting married, and she's gone viral on TikTok for the 2-page letter she wrote to her potential bridesmaids.
In the letter, she outlines her expectations for her bridal party, including what color the dress should be, where she'd like her bachelorette party to be, and what costs the bridesmaids would be responsible for.
For example, under "Wedding Attire" she states
"I'm leaning towards a Dusty Rose color bridesmaid dress, nude heels, and nude/gold accessories. Beyond that, you can choose the rest. Uncertain of cost, but Google says the average for a bridesmaid dress is $200. Hopefully, freedom in the design can help you snag a deal".
For her Bachelorette Party, she gives a preferred destination (an all-inclusive resort in Mexico), preferred timeframe, and estimated cost.
She goes on to outline other potential commitments, including bridal shower, wedding dress shopping, and some FAQs about the experience.
As you can imagine, reactions are mixed to Lisa's video. Some people are calling her out for not offering to pay for everything when her demands are so specific. Others, myself including, are applauding the transparency.
Look, I'm a dude and therefore will never fully understand the pressure of being a bride trying to create the perfect wedding day you've imagined since you were a little girl. My job as a groom was to show up mildly sober and not screw up the vows.
But you hear so many stories of bride-to-bes demanding expensive gifts, specific dresses, and extravagant bachelorette trips. Or other brides-to-be that just turn into Bridezillas and torpedo friendships with their demands and negativity about their wedding.
What Lisa is doing here is actually pretty cool. She gives all of her potential bridesmaids the option to decline the invitation (one did), she lists expectations that seem relatively reasonable, and she outlines exactly what she thinks it will cost - both in time and money - to be a bridesmaid. Rather than getting their commitment and then springing stuff on them at the last minute, why not prepare everyone for what your desire is, and let them decide whether or not they can make it work? What do you think? Is Lisa being too demanding here or is this the way brides should treat their wedding party?