ABC's 'Dirty Dancing' Remake Traumatizes the Human Race

Everybody loves a good remake, right? 

 

Well, ABC just premiered its TV remake of the 1987 classic, Dirty Dancing.
And, spoiler alert -- people are not frickin' having it. 

 
 
 
 

Abigail Breslin took on the role of Baby, with newcomer Colt Prattes making his debut as Johnny. 

 

Most people had beef with the fact that Abigail's Baby looked way too young to be spending a sexy summer Colt's Johnny

 

I should probably also mention that Abigail's dancing skills were not exactly up to par.
[WHY WOULD YOU MAKE A MOVIE ALL ABOUT DANCING WITHOUT A FEMALE LEAD WHO CAN ACTUALLY DANCE?!]

 
 

She totally knows it, though.

“I’m the exact antithesis of graceful,” Breslin told People while promoting the film.
I can barely walk a straight line.

 
 
 
 
 

Honestly, I'm sitting here trying to list every single thing that was horrible/uncomfortable/just-plain-wrong with ABC's version, but I don't have the energy. There's too much.

So I'm just going to let Twitter say it for me.  

 
 
 
 
 

How are you feeling about the new version of Dirty Dancing, fam?

 
 
 
 
 
Savannah

Savannah

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